Tawny’s Back.

Tawny’s back! Now read!

Dressed in my Sunday’s best waiting for Chelsea and Tunde to pick me up for worship service I began to sweat. I could barely remember the last time my heels clicked into the entrance of the Second Avenue church of Christ. I wasn’t looking forward to it but I knew Chelsea wouldn’t leave town without seeing me… in church.

With my locs pinned into an updo, I was channeling a demure but sexy church lady. Miami had turned breezy enough for me to wear a burnt orange and brown tweed cap sleeved shift dress that fell at mid calf. Bare legs and ankle booties carried me to the door when I heard the horn on the SUV Chelsea’s beau was driving.

“I’m coming,” I yelled to no one in particular.  I grabbed a brown leather envelope clutch and began to lock the door.

“Don’t forget your Bible,” Chelsea reminded me, as I turned my key in the direction to lock the deadbolt.

“They have extras at the church.” I smiled and watched Chelsea smile back at me. It had been over a year since we had seen one another and at that moment I realized how much I missed my sister from another mister.

I walked down the sidewalk-turned-catwalk like I was eighteen again.

Chelsea rolled up her window in protest.

Inside the car, I greeted Tunde and took him all in. I had to give it to her, Chelsea knew how to pick ‘em. I was at a loss for words when I saw him but I couldn’t act like a seventeen year old. After all, he was her man. Off limits no matter what.

We made small talk during the fifteen minute drive. Tunde told me about the day they met in Borders bookstore. He couldn’t stop talking about Chelsea’s dress and the way her wild afro caught his eye. I envied her for the first time in my life. She was the happiest I had ever seen her. Like, ever, ever.  She oozed love in Tunde’s direction and, though his face was turned away from me, I could feel his love returning to her.

Once we pulled up to the towering three-story building, my heart began to race. I saw his car parked in the front as it had been on the first day I visited over five years ago at the advice of Chelsea.

***

He preached the word with power. He had an enviable style and a smile that would melt an igloo on the coldest day of winter. Good thing we met in the summer time.

I was twenty-four. Home for a taping during Spring Break but well out of college. My agent had booked me for an MTV dating show. It was all staged but the money was great. That weekend, after taping had ended, I decided to spend a couple of days with Chelsea’s parents. They insisted we visit the Second Avenue church of Christ.

After the sermon, kissing of cheeks, shaking of hands, we poured into the foyer and greeted him, The Man of the Hour. At first glance I knew my intentions were all but spiritual. I had to have him.

While Chelsea’s parents caught up with old friends, I went over to the First Lady and complimented her on the amazing Philip Treacy fascinator she wore so effortlessly.

As she hugged and air kissed me, her husband slipped me his card; right behind his wife’s back. He and I made eye contact, and just like that, I knew I would see him again. Soon.

Our relationship began with early morning phone calls and text messages. We got acquainted during the hours in which his wife left him alone to spend time with the Lord. Little did she know he was talking with me and praying he could see me again.

During the second month of our affair, he met me in New York. He had planned on attending a minister’s conference and I was there shopping for agents on the East Coast. Though I had been successful in landing print ads, it was rather tough for me to break into acting. Something that wouldn’t change for quite some time.

I had never been one to show interest in occupied men, but he had all the qualities I had ever wanted.  Tall (6’8″ without his Italian loafers). Dark (chocolate envied his complexion). Powerful (2000 parishioners obeyed his every word). Rich (God blesses His own).

He had charmed my panties off on the second day of my trip; complaining of his wife’s prudish ways in the bedroom. While he was no spring chicken he had me sprung. He spoke at the conference during the day while I shopped and we spent our evenings dining out and conversing.  He never let me drink but I didn’t complain one bit.

“Tawny, a man could get used to this kind of treatment. I haven’t felt so alive since, since… ever,” he whispered on the last morning of his trip.

I felt a twinge of guilt as his cell phone rang. It was one of his fellow ministers reminding him of their final prayer meeting before check out time. Though he wanted to remain in bed with me, he quickly showered and dressed and kissed me on the forehead before leaving me for good.

“I made sure to get a late checkout. You can leave when you’re ready.” The door closed and hot tears rolled down my cheeks. For the first time I had been treated like a princess but my king would up and disappear.

It would be on my next trip to New York that I would regret the blessing poured forth from the Man of God.

***

“Reece, are you gonna get out?” Chelsea’s  voice woke me from the memory I’d been having.

“Yeah. Gimme a sec.”

My mind was frazzled but no one would know. While I wasn’t ready to face him I had no choice. Chelsea and Tunde waited for me to get out of the car and we walked toward the back entrance of the building.

Once inside, we waited for five minutes to be seated by the Secret Service-like ushers. Almost every space in the stadium style auditorium was filled. From the upper mezzanine, we sat, sang, prayed and ingested the spiritual food. I passed on communion because after thorough examination of my thoughts, I felt less than worthy. Just before service let out (and when I knew he would escape to his office), I took the stairs to the lower level. My hands shook as I knocked softly at his door.

“Come in, honey,” his voice bellowed from behind the door.

I twisted the knob and caught a glimpse of him for the first time in years.

“Hon – oh, Teresa.  I thought you were my wife.” He smiled and stood; walking in my direction, he made me all kinds of nervous.

Stonefaced and determined not to melt in his presence, I met him in the middle of his office.

“It’s been too long since I’ve seen you. You’ve changed.” He touched my locs and frowned.

“Yeah. I have. A lot has changed. How are you?”

“I’m blessed. Blessed. So what brings you to my office?”

“Just wanted to say, ‘hey’.”

There was a knock at the door. I jumped. He motioned for me to sit in the couch facing his desk.

“Honey, you in there?”

Though we had always kept our relationship outside the walls of the church edifice, I  always felt like his wife had suspected something.

“Yes, dear. I’ll be out in a few. I’m in a confidential counseling session. Ask one of the elders to greet the members.”

He stood in the doorway so his wife could not see who was in the room. I heard the sound of her heels fading in the distance and I knew she was gone.

He watched her walk away and  he closed and locked the door.

I felt his hand on my shoulder and I  tensed up.

“What’s wrong?” He massaged my shoulder.

“Nothing. It’s just. Your wife is right outside.” I touched the few locs that hung near my eye.

“Teresa, why did you come here?” He sat next to me on the brown leather couch.

“Chelsea came down and she wanted to visit.”

“But you haven’t been here since….” His voice faded.

“Since I was in counseling with my ex. I know.”

“So you two aren’t together anymore?”

“No. Not since a year ago. “

“I see.” He nodded to no one in particular.

“Well, I just wanted to say hello. You know, beat the crowd. I have to meet Chelsea at the car.” I started to rise and he placed his hand on my leg. I returned to a seated position.

“Wait. I’ll take you home.”

“That’s not a good idea. We have brunch reservations and I can’t be seen leaving here with you.”

It had been awkward to share the details of my relationship with a man I had been sleeping with on and off for the better part of my twenties. He had  been my premarital counselor even though I knew I would never marry anyone if I couldn’t have him.  He was the reason I could not commit to even the best men that came my way.

 Before I knew it I was sending Chelsea a text. I’m sure she was somewhat surprised, but her reply assured me we would meet up before her departure to New York.

An hour later, once everyone had cleared the building, we walked to his car. Ever the gentleman, he opened my door and made sure I was securely fastened in my seat. He had arranged for his wife to have brunch with a few of the elders’ wives so his afternoon was free.

We rode to the sounds of his sermon. He would critique himself after every service; taking mental notes on which points roused the congregation the most.  My mind drifted off to Reagan and it seemed as if he could read my thoughts.

 

“Where’s my daughter?” His eyes fixed on the road.

“Which daughter?”

“Reagan. She has my eyes. My nose. And if the timing is right, she just turned five, right?”

“Right.”

 

To be continued…

 

Let me know what you think? Share with a friend. Comment. Show love on Facebook.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

Sepia ♥

 

Pause.

Sometimes God puts you on pause.

 

Be still and know that I am God… – Psalm 46:10

 

Today started off on the right track. I woke up with enough time to do an online devotion, update my Facebook status, eat an apple, and fix lunch. While figuring out what I would wear I got caught in a time warp. Before I knew it, I was running out of the house to try and catch the last-chance-to-be-on-time bus. While I was succesful at getting to the bus stop on time, God had other plans.

During my short commute, the bus malfunctioned. “You all have to wait for the next bus,” the driver informed us.

Great. Just. Great. Today would be the day I chose to take a bus that ran every thirty minutes. I would be late for school for sure! I began to get a tad frustrated. I didn’t want to be late and I knew that I was not mentally prepared to teach my first period class. No worries though, I called in to inform the higher ups that I would be tardy for the teaching party.

 

The driver asked that all passengers wait outside. While outside I went to Facebook and saw a status update from a friend who had been going through a trial. In a few short words, my friend gave me reassurance that everything would be okay. You see, while I was inwardly annoyed about waiting outside for the next bus, my friend had already claimed the victory.

 

I am ever so thankful for the moments God gave me to read those words and realize His greatness. It was only God that allowed me the time to think on His ways. He controls all things all the time. I stood outside with tears in my eyes just thanking God. I had a spiritual breakthrough on the bus stop of all places. Sometimes it’s a momentous occasion that brings you to your breakthrough; other times it’s just the realization that your storm could be far worse.

 

For the thirty minutes that I stood outside in high heels waiting for the next bus, God took me through a test. He paused my circumstances and allowed me to see things more clearly. For those moments, I praise Him. I have no idea what He kept me from during my time of stillness but with gratitude I say, “Thank You, Father.”

In the end, I made it to school safely and all is well. I guess I just needed a few moments with Him before my day started.

Take a few moments to pause today.

Sepia ♥

A Very Sepia Thanksgiving!

 

Well, folks, with two more days until Thanksforgiving me your land Day, I’m still in the planning stages.  I know what I’ll cook and where I’ll go but I’m unsure as to what my hair will say or what I’m wearing.

This will be my first time ever spending Thanksgiving with the family of a significant other (long story… not worth telling). I plan on making a masterful mac and cheese for my family and an extra pan to take to Rumple’s family’s house as a kind gesture.

Tomorrow after school, I’m coming straight home to prepare a few tester pans for close friends and co-workers. I want to make sure I have it just right!

Besides cooking and chilling with Rumple’s family, I’ll be spending time with my Daddy! Yay!! I don’t get to see him too often since he lives in another state, so it will be good to see him and his crazy side of the family. Gotta have balance! Rumple will finally get to meet my dad. Yay? LOL! My mom’s family is getting together as well. So I have a lot of running around to do.

I hope to make it to the grocery store tonight to get the ingredients for my small Thanksgiving meal.

Here’s what’s on my menu:

Peach and Rosemary Glazed Chicken Breasts

Mashed Sweet Potatoes

Sautéed Collards/Kale (or Callaloo – depending on how I feel while in the grocery store)

Dressing with Apples, Chicken Sausage, and Cranberries

Chanell’s Lobster Mac & Cheese aka Bourgie Mac!

I can’t wait to eat and spend time with my family!!!

What are you doing on Thursday? What are you looking forward to eating?

***Need some last minute recipes or dessert ideas? Check out one of my favorite food blogs: http://fiercefoodie.com ***

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Sepia ♥

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Never Too Busy – Day 31

Wow!!! It’s over already???

That was super fast. Well, I know I cheated a bit, but I thoroughly enjoyed this challenge. While I didn’t blog every single day, I did almost all of the activities (except the YouTube video).

This challenge taught me a lot about myself. It gave me a chance to be open and free and actually document my life processes.

So, today, on the last day, I’m not too busy to list 31 things I’m thankful for:

 

1. Life

2. A relationship with God, the Ultimate Creator.

3. Another chance (I ran out of second chances a very long time ago).

4. Family that loves and supports me.

5. My trials – they make me stronger.

6. My black womanness.

7. The ability to write.

8. Hugs at the right time.

9. Creatvity.

10. My blog (and the commenters that say the right things at the right time) and my fellow bloggers.

11. The gift of teaching.

12. Hindsight.

13. Rumplestilskin.

14. Love.

15. Aniyah’s on-time conversations.

16. My smartphone.

17.Growth.

18. Inside jokes.

19. My BFF :)

20. My TEAM!

21. Conversations with the older sister who beat me up endlessly as a child.

22. MAC Ruby Woo lipstick.

23. Sushi and its ability to change the entire course of my day.

24. Old friends.

25. Rainy days.

26. Books.

27. Prayer.

28. An unexpected peck on the cheek while I’m typing a blog post (not this one ;) )

29. 75 cent vintage dresses.

30. Education.

31. The ability to be me!!!

 

 

What are you thankful for?

 

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Sepia ♥

Never Too Busy – Day 24

Day 24 – Listen to music you wouldn’t normally listen to.

 

My ears are pretty versatile. I like a little bit of country, a sprinkle of rock and roll. So, today, I’ll probably attempt to enjoy some classical music on Pandora’s Beethoven station.

 

I haven’t listened to classical in quite a while.  See, it was a form of punishment from one of my music teachers. It’s an easy way to get me to fall asleep in less than three minutes.

 

What are you listening to?

 

Sepia ♥

NevToo Busy – Day 21

Day 21 – Do something DARING!

 

Daring is my middle name. Well, at least it used to be until I found out what common sense was.

 

I was such a wild, carefree, child. I once jumped off the roof of my family’s house a la Mary Poppins. It didn’t end well.

 

For my birthday I was treated to an adventure tour in Key West. That was pretty daring! I snorkeled with sharks (baby sharks), parasailed, jet skiied, and rode on the back of a banana boat going like a thousand mph!

 

After sailing over the island of Key West I was tempted to jump from a plane. That’s my next adventure. I’m planning to do a tandem jump very soon. Just not today.

Today, I’ll do something mildly daring. Maybe I’ll chop off my fro or get a tattoo (well, maybe not a tattoo)… Hmm. The possibilities are endless.

 

Do something daring today!

 

I dare you!

 

Sepia ♥

Never Too Busy – Day 20

Day 20 – Meditate

 

I definitely have to find some time today to be at peace with myself. I have been super duper blessed over the past couple days. During the first few days of this challenge I had to devise a plan to get out of the slump I was in. Y’know what? It worked. In coming  up with a plan, I had no time to focus on what I was going through. I just went through it! How about that?

 

So, back to the meditation. I’ve never been able to meditate for more than five minutes without my mind wandering off to a far, distant land. I usually close my eyes and think on a Bible verse then a key word in that verse makes me think of something else.

 

Not sure if there’s a class I can take or a book I can read on meditation, but I’ve heard great things about it. I need more clarity in my life so I will take six minutes today to just be during my lunch time.

 

Any tips on meditation?

 

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Sepia ♥

Never Too Busy Days 14 -19

Seriously, Sepia? Almost a week’s worth of #NeverTooBusy in one post?

But of course. At least I’m keeping up with the challenge and not succumbing to my usual excuses.

I have a doctor’s note though: I had a pinched nerve in my back and couldn’t muster up enough energy to do much typing. But I was busy living!

Day 14 – Create a Vision Board

I can remember creating a vision board when I moved back to South Florida from New York. I pasted pictures and words of everything I wanted and left God out of the equation. My how He can mold your thoughts!

Here’s my updated dream board courtesy of the O Dream Board Application on Oprah.com:

It says a lot about where I am in my life and where I plan on going with God’s guidance.

Day 15:  No Social Media

Oh, I kinda failed this day. Not because I can’t control my urge to refresh the Facebook for Android app on my phone, but yeah… On to the next day.

Day 16: Do a community service activity

On Saturday, October 15, 2011, I participated in the Ft. Lauderdale/Miami Susan G. Komen Race for a Cure 5K walk/run. Thank God there was an option for “fun mile” walk/run because I had a pinched nerve in my back and couldn’t bare to walk anything over a mile. But it was for an amazing cause. Seeing the survivors walk proudly was an inspiration for me to keep going no matter what. It was a bittersweet experience and a proud moment for me. I walked in honor of all the women who had lost their lives to breast cancer.

Day 17 – Go out for ice cream.

So, I’m lactose intolerant. I’m also rebellious. I love a scoop of Haagen Dazs Coffee ice cream, but these days I tend to lean towards frozen yogurt. My favorite yogurt spot has to be Yogen Fruz in North Miami Beach. They have an amazing Chai Tea Fro Yo that is just heavenly. I always make time for a cool treat.

Day 18 – Sell some old stuff/declutter.

Though I’m an avid thrifter I’ve never ever ever ever sold anything back to a consignment shop. Hmmm. Maybe I’m saving up all my gently used clothing and accessories to use as inventory for the vintage boutique I’ll open soon.

Before I relocated back to Miami I gave away tons of winter items to the local Salvation Army. I guess in the back of my mind I knew I’d never need that much winter wear. I’m a South Floridian, so when it gets cold, I break out a light jacket.

Day 19 – Play a board game.

I love Scrabble. Outside of the two older Jamaican sisters at my church no one can beat me at Scrabble. Seriously! There’s an unfinished game on my Deluxe Onyx Edition Scrabble Board. Wonder if Rumple is up for the rest of his whipping…

What have you been up to?

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Sepia ♥

Never Too Busy – Day 13

Day 13 – Dance to your favorite song!!!

 

Sometimes I think I’m that woman. Y’know, the one whose Black Card would be revoked if caught dancing in public. I mean, I’m not as bad as the character on Seinfeld (I think her name is Elaine), but I’m not the first person on the dance floor. I’m not sure how it happened, but I just can’t dance. I never said I don’t enjoy dancing, I’m just not the best.

Sure, I’d love to take a dance class of some sort, but it’s not on the top of my list of things Sepia needs to do before she’s a success in life.

When I tell people I can’t dance they look at me like I’m growing another head. I guess my “look” says, fashion forward, confident, quirky, so I should be able to dance.

I may not be able to get down like Beyonce on any of her intricately choreographed numbers, but I can kinda  keep a beat (if it’s not too complicated) and have a good time… ALONE!

Oh, and I don’t have a favorite song, but here’s a song I’m sure I’ll dance offbeat to at home:

What’s your favorite song to dance to?

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Sepia♥

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Never Too Busy Day 12

Day 12 – Introduce yourself to someone new. Start a conversation with them.

Ok, so I’ve always been sorta shy. (insert collective gasp)

With age and increased confidence, I have found it pretty easy to speak to strangers. If all else fails and they don’t speak back, there’s no love lost.  I mean, the person’s a stranger so the odds of seeing them again are pretty slim.

I can’t remember the first conversation I had with Rumple, but I do remember being super nervous and smiling awkwardly.

I tend to break the ice with a joke. Either in line at the store, on the bus during my morning commute, or at the gym, there’s always the opportunity to have a conversation with a stranger.

Be careful though, being uber friendly to a stranger could send the wrong message… Well, with the opposite sex. Scratch that, it could be a good problem for some :)

Go out and meet a someone new today.

Do you have any stranger turned friend stories? Share.

Sepia

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