Greater than, less than, or equal to?

Early on, we are taught to compare. We use words like, better, stronger, faster, and prettier to compare objects. We use symbols to compare numbers. Behind those symbols are meanings.

I am < *insert random object/person/thought that evokes insecurity*

As of late, I have found myself guilty of compare and contrast. My thoughts have run the gamut of she’s skinnier but I’m smarter, he’s just pretending to be happy but I’m happier, they’re doing great things but I could do so much better.

Toxic, right?

Not sure where this came from but I know this is not of God. It is below me and it must come to an end. I can no longer compare my walk using someone else’s stride. It just won’t work. The one step I take may cover three steps for the next person and vice versa. I’m learning slowwwwwlllllyyyy that God has given us all something different to be great at. Sure, blogging may not be my strong suit but I’m willing to  keep at it.

I will stop comparing and start appreciating the gifts of others.

Over the past month I have been blessed to connect with a network of women who CONSTANTLY remind me to walk in my purpose. Their works inspire me to work harder.

Believe it or not, I’ve never been one to grind. Until a couple years ago I didn’t know the definition of true sacrifice. But now I know.

Long story short, I should be so focused on God’s purpose for my life that nothing else matters. It’s a process. I’m ready for it. One of the hardest things to do is to admit being wrong. The easiest thing to combat that is correcting and walking right. I’m on my way. Again. No comparisons allowed.

Before I go, I must thank a few women who have recently inspired me: Arleen Bishop (my mom, The MASTER of the Grind!), Charona Senior (my sister, and Camryn’s mommy just for being stronger than necessary ALWAYS), Elaina McCann-Brinson (for her motivation, innovation, and God-given perseverance), Syndy Colebrook (because she reminds me to “Keep Holdin’ On”), ToriAnn Hampton (my BFF and favorite on-screen star),Lindsay Gay (the smartest girl in the world who reminded me that ”it” has nothing to do with me; you reminded me of my greatness!) Syretta Simon (sarcasm or not, she gets it, all the time!), Teara Davis (strength and beauty), Ashley Lorraine (you remind me to keep blogging), Laurinda Andujar (inspiring and rememebers to give God the glory above all), Erica Hearns (your post brought it to my attention that I was, in fact, comparing and contrasting), last but not least, the late Minerva Hall (Grandma, during our last conversation (that I can remember), you told me to be my own woman! I will. )

Chanell Nicole, Creator of Sepia Says

P.S. Remember to visit my new site and sign up for updates on the launch and other happenings! Thanks ♥

Sooo much has happened since I last posted and I’ll probably catch you up on another post.

Just wanted to send a quick hello and say THANK YOU to every reader, blogger, friend, or family member who has checked up on me, or sent me an email in the part couple months. It is much appreciated.

Sepia Says will be evolving into something much bigger in the coming months so stay tuned. In the meantime, go to ChanellNicole.com and register for my new site!

Thanks for reading, commenting, and subscribing.

Chanell Nicole, Creator of Sepia Says

Where are you? At this very moment are you where you thought you would be? When someone asked you five years ago what your plan was, is this what you imagined?

If anyone would’ve asked me five years ago where I’d be right now I couldn’t imagine being where I am. (There are plusses and minuses to that statement, too.)

While studying the book of Genesis, I came across the passage where God asked Adam where he was.

⁶ So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate. ⁷ Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings.

⁸ And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.

⁹ Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?”

¹⁰ So he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.”

- Genesis 3:6-10

It was shortly after he had sinned against God by eating the forbidden fruit that Adam was questioned. I came to a realization that God, all-knowing in His ways, had already known where Adam was. It was His way of checking Adam’s mindset.

That passage made me ask myself, where am I?

I thought about all aspects of my life and re-evaluated my recent decisions. Would I be able to answer if God had asked me of my whereabouts?  Even further, it made me aware of the human-ness of Adam. Just like Adam, I sometimes “hide myself” from God after I feel like I have wronged Him. My hiding comes in the form of missed worship, avoiding friends, and isolation. I know that God knows all and sees all, but I still hide. I’m human.

Another point, until Adam sinned, God had not questioned him.

My quick takeaway?  When you sin, you are separated from God. When you walk with Him, He never has to question your location.

So, today, I strive to be in a place where He knows where I am, and more importantly, I know He’s with me.

Where are YOU today?

Share.

♥Sepia

Now that that’s over, I’m sure you’re wondering about the title. Even if you’re not, here’s the back story:

I’ve been what most would call skinny my entire life. It wasn’t until undergrad that I picked up the pounds. Even then, during my senior year I dropped so much weight my sister called me the Black Paris Hilton. I didn’t know how small I was until I saw a picture of myself, smaller than I’d been even in high school. I was comfortable with that body, but with time comes a slower metabolism. Add that to a budding relationship and you’ve got a lot of unexpected weight!

Sepia in November 2003

Fast forward eight years and I’m here. Longing for the girl in the picture. I have good enough sense to know that it didn’t accumulate overnight, so it will take quite some time to come off. Sure, I’m not morbidly obese, but I lack discipline in certain areas. Let me restate that, I lacked discipline in certain areas. I know exactly how I gained the weight: eating too much of the wrong foods and lack of movement.

So, how do I lose the weight? I guess I’ll have to do the opposite: eat better and move more!

I am one who has kinda struggled with my weight over the past few months. This is new to me. Like, I’ve always been skinny, so to be in the “thick” category is weird. Sure, there are some who want to be thick but I’m not one of those people. I prefer the semi-athletic, slim look of my late teens early twenties.  So, while I’m not what most would deem fat, I am uncomfortable with my weight and I am taking strides to do something about it.

Sepia in February 2012

It’s a sacrifice of time and tasty foods, but in the end, I WILL REACH MY GOAL!!!

I’ll need your support and will continuously update you all on my progress!

Here’s to a healthier, happier, me!

♥ Sepia 

Never did I imagine this blog would help me as much as it has. It has been a source of encouragement, an avenue of growth, and has opened my eyes to other peoples’ opinions and outlooks.

This blog has taught, and is teaching me, the power of words.

Words can harm.

Words can heal.

Words can transform your day.

Words, when applied correctly, can guide you to your true purpose and salvation.

From now on, I cannot take my words for granted.

It’s not that I aimlessly type away on my keyboard with hopes of inspiring someone. Nope, these posts are thought out (some better than others). When I’m really “on it” with my writing, and think I should get mega hits to my site, I seem to flop. However, on days when I’m just pouring out my soul with the click of the keyboard, I get replies like this:

[Dear Sepia], Just want you to know how encouraged and inspired I am by you.  Often times your posts, though short, sweet and to the point, are just what I need to get back on track…  Thanks for everything! And trust me, just as you have unknowingly been an instrumental part of my walk, there are MANY more. They may never say it, but you have to keep working! The love of Christ to you!

I received this email on a morning when everything that could possibly go wrong, went extra-wrong. It CHANGED something in me. It made me aware that God had bestowed something awesome upon me little ol’ me! I have no choice but to continue to share.

Share your power.

Sepia♥

I would like to think I swanned into my present-day pretty. I’m kinda glad it happened that way, too. See, growing up, sun-kissed, chocolate girls like myself weren’t always the  commercial standard of beauty. When you look different, you get teased and called names. My mom raised me to believe that I was beautiful at any shade, but she couldn’t go to school with me.

Now, I was not relentlessly teased or bullied, but I had my fair share of dark girl nicknames.

Eventually, I got older, my teeth caught up with the rest of my face, my once lanky legs became shapely and I finally figured out what to do with my hair. This didn’t happen until I was around 17. Yep, I’m the classic case of The Late Bloomer.

Don’t cry for me, Argentina. There were mildly annoying benefits. I was able to focus on classwork  instead of boys (most of the time) and I enjoyed high school without the pressure of being one of the popular girls. (I imagine it was tons of work keeping your hair done and making sure you didn’t repeat an outfit too soon.)

So, I blossomed into my young womanness in college but I didn’t become fully pretty until a little later.

When I say pretty I don’t mean the outward me. What I am referring to is that inner beauty, that self-love that no one can take away. That God-given peace of mind that comes with the full understanding that since He loves me I am worthy of love. The gifts, abilities and talents that leave others in awe… The ability to focus on Him and walk in your purpose; that’s real pretty.

I recently taught a lesson on Esther, the unlikely queen who saved a nation. She used her pretty for a purpose. (If you find time, read the story. It’s pretty amazing.)

I got the idea of my lesson from a line a close friend and I used to say to one another a few years back: DON’T WASTE THE PRETTY. (A quote from the classic dating book, He’s Just Not That Into You)

My initial question to the ladies was: “What does it mean to be pretty?”

One of the youngest audience members raised her hand. Once I acknowledged her, she replied,

 ”Being pretty is not about what’s on the outside. It’s how you treat others. How you present yourself. Being pretty is the inner you that shines forth.”

Esther didn’t waste her pretty on just looking the part. She used her pretty as power, persuasion, persistence. She got the job done.

This lesson got me to thinking about my own pretty. My purpose. My walk. Me.

It made me happy that God allowed me to swan into the woman I am today. As a swan, I’m ever-evolving into His definition of beauty.

³ Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. ⁴ Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. – 1 Peter 3:3 NIV

While I love to adorn my fro with accessories and have an affinity for vintage dresses, the pretty that I strive to possess is that which is pleasing in God’s sight. My pretty is my purpose. My purpose is His will. It wasn’t an easy process coming to terms with my pretty as I still have unpretty moments. With time, I find that each day is a chance to walk more perfectly and let my pretty shine for the benefit of others. I can’t define my pretty in a sentence but these words that you’re reading are a portion of it. I pray that I am able to unveil more parts of my pretty more frequently for His glory. I give you permission to do the same.

Share your pretty.

Sepia ♥

(is it too late to say that? oh well, let’s get to the writing!)

A while ago I wrote “Not Married, Engaged” (it’s a long read but super worth it). I’ve re-read that post over and over again. It’s a reminder of the mindset I can embrace when I allow God to guide every aspect of my life.

When I revisit that post, I wonder to myself: Who is/was that girl? Sure, I’m the author, editor, and creator of the piece, but I’m wondering when I got to the point where I was okay with being, well, me!

If you’re wondering, yes, me = single, unmarried, childless, and fabulous!  (ha!)

I now know that it is in His purpose for me to be in whichever state, marital status (and why is it called marital status if the only status that actually involves marriage is the married?), career or living situation I may find myself and still be content.

It wasn’t easy to get to that place. I had to let go of doing things my way and start doing things in a way that was not so popular. At the time, it meant hanging out with my BFF instead of my (then-non-existent) B-O-Y-F-R-I-E-N-D. It was an awesome time, actually. I took trips, tried new restaurants, and  had a carefree, centered nature about myself.

Today, I’m close to being back there and I don’t doubt I’ll return sooner than later. What I’ve learned since penning “Engaged” is that it’s a journey. Following God and being dedicated to Him and His works is the toughest relationship you’ll ever be in. For believers, it’s what one strives to do daily. Most recently, I’ve had a few mountain top moments, but there have been brief valleys as well. As a young woman always seeking balance, I strive to have more up days than down. More days that He will be proud of.  A couple of years later, older, wiser, and more experienced, I count myself blessed to be able to adjust my thoughts.

I no longer think being fully engaged necessarily means being without a significant other. For some, that’s a posture that may be necessary. One of the things I’ve learned is : No man is an island. I need people.

A wise man once said:

” When life gives you lemons… Go find the other people with the water and Sugar… Contrary to what you’ve been told, you can’t make lemonade with just those lemons… And you won’t arise from your despair alone… Everybody needs a little help. And sometimes you gotta go find it. “  – This Guy

All in all, in revisiting “Engagement” I’m finding that while I’m not as engaged, I’m getting there. One day in the right direction. I give you permission to get (re) engaged. It’s so worth it.

Where are you in your “engagement”?

Share your awesomeness!

Sepia ♥

On my 29th born-day! I felt ahhhmazing!

Almost a month ago, I turned 29. Time sure flies when you’re busy living!!! I have learned so much about myself during this last year. As a woman, I am blossoming and becoming more aware by the moment. I’m not sure what 29 is supposed to feel like, but I feel amazing!!!

In less than 365 days, I’ll be 30, Lord willing. I’m so thankful for the lessons, the blessings, the tears, and most of all: THE LOVE!

When I look at my life and all that I’ve learned, I’m sure I can come up with 29 things I’ve learned and am thankful for…

1. God is love… Truly, He is merciful.

2. I don’t know everything there is to know about writing. I’m ok with this.

3. When I walk, people listen. (yes, walk, not talk)

4. Confidence is key. Cockiness is ewww.

5. Forgiveness is the best gift I’ve received. I need to give it more freely.

6. Getting over something is not as valuable as getting through it. The process builds character.

7. I am more girly than I give myself credit for.

8. I make perfect mistakes.

9. Though I hate (like really) exercise, the results are worth the work.

10. What others think of me is none of my business and does not guide my decisions.

11. Prayer is power. Pray for your enemies daily. It may give you power over them.

12. Relationships come and go and come and go; true friends will hold you down in every season.

A great evening out with great friends!

13. Doing things alone is freeing.

14. You are what you say you are. Speak life.

15. Ill-fitting clothes make you appear… ILL.

16. Seasons change.

17. Family is sometimes hard to love but the love is what holds the bond together.

18. All you have is right now.

19. Everyone doesn’t understand my vision. That’s cool. My eyes are in my head for a reason.

20. I’m okay with not being married. Thank God! This took about three years to come to grips with.

21. I’m not a perfect blogger and I like it that way.

22.  I am a lifestyle maven. Yes, I am!

23. When I walk in my purpose others reap the benefits.

24. I cook well but not often enough.

25. I’m not a teacher. I’m an artist who teaches.

26. If I turned on the ringer more often, I wouldn’t have to return so many calls.

27. I am no longer afraid of love.

28. Being me is super awesome. I wish you could try it!

29. I’m not sure what 30 is supposed to feel like, but 29 has been an amazing year so far. I wouldn’t trade it in for anything!

Thanks for reading.

Sepia ♥

I pray that all is well with each and every reader. Can you believe this year is almost over? In just over a week we’ll all be getting accustomed to writing 2012.  I have learned quite a bit during the past year and I look forward to learning even more in the year to come.

Before we bid farewell to 2011 let’s take a minute to celebrate Christmas!!! While I don’t celebrate it as a religious holiday, I enjoy spending time with family and showing my appreciation through gifts of love (and food!). Just today, I had a ball with family and friends at our annual Christmas Eve brunch. Prior to that, I caught up with lifelong friends from elementary school for dinner, laughs, and conversation!

I’m to have such wonderful people in my life who continue to uplift and inspire me. If I could ask Santa for anything else (in addition to the health of myself, my friends, and my family, and peace on Earth), my Christmas list would probably look something like this:

1. Nikon D3000

This camera will allow me to take my blog and brand to the next level. It has video capabilities and takes great pictures.

2. Sparkly Uggs

I love a comfy shoe and the sparkle of the sequins is just… FAB! (I wear a size 11 just in case you forgot, Santa.)

3. Sewing Machine

How cute is this?

I’d like to learn to make vintage style skirts and dresses.

4. Funky Fabric

See number 3.

5. Cruiser

who doesn't love a vintage bike?

In a perfect world, I’d ride my bike everywhere! In reality, I’d like to make time to enjoy the scenery and maybe take a ride to the beach every so often.

6. Snuggie

A Snuggie is a gift that I’d never buy with my own money but would love to receive. Make sense?

7. Complete Concept, Staff, & Layout to My New Site

This is the ultimate gift! I’m sure Santa will spread this one out over most of 2012.

8. Macbook Air.

Because Macs are cool.

9. New Workout gear.

Which will motivate me to go to the gym?

10. A home.

Who wouldn't want to wake up to this?

Doesn’t matter the size, Santa, just make it all mine.

What do you want for Christmas?

Happy Holidays!

♥ Sepia

Teaching always gives me a chance to see my students as God sees me. While I am not as great a teacher as He is, there is a parallel. The Teacher instructs, gives directions, and assists. The students apply what they have learned.

What I’m realizing more and more is that sometimes students forget. Like God, I expect for my students to hold on to every rule in math, every formula, every procedure. Like me, sometimes they forget. Unlike God, I get frustrated and angry when my students are unable to recollect the proper way to multiply fractions and whole numbers or the correct method for turning a mixed number into an improper fraction.

Just today, I gave my students and exploratory assignment on a skill they had not been taught. It was my way of seeing if they would draw from their arsenal of math knowledge. Things didn’t go the way I had planned.

As I was observing the class, a few students raised their hands. “This is an independent assignment.” I warned.

I walked around and saw that most of the students, working ever so diligently, were getting the answers wrong.  One student in particular kept raising his hand. “I don’t get it,” he whined.

(Now, as a teacher, comments about not “getting it” send me through the roof.)

“You don’t know how to do this type of problem? I taught this during the first marking period,” I replied, in my firmest teacher voice.

He began to get frustrated and said, “You’re the teacher, you’re supposed to help me.” (How many times have you had this conversation with God?)

Immediately, I kinda sorta knew how God felt when His students failed to recall lessons that He had taught. I smiled to myself and said, “I hear you, God.”

This was my reminder of Hebrews 2:1

¹ So we must listen very carefully to the truth we have heard, or we may drift away from it.

 I reminded the students of one of the important skills needed to solve the problem, and immediately I saw their lightbulbs go off.

In the end, I learned the lesson. Students aren’t perfect. Even my highest achieving students will not always get the answers right. It is a reminder to me that even when I get life answers wrong, God is always there to reteach. Just another example of His grace and mercy.

Take some time today to try to see things through His eyes.

Share.

Sepia ♥